just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
