# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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