I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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