The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
