He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
