Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
