i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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