Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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