just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize