This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize