Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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