my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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