I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
