I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
