I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
