I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
