Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My breasts were aching with rage.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
