he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
