I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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