I bet he comes in French.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
