whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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