chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
