recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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