Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
