I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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