He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Floor bacon is actually really good
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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