I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize