I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
