My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
