i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
