i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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