I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
