I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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