So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
