I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
