? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize