True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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