; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
