Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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