You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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