I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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