last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
