i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
