Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
