I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
