i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
