he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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