Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
