he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
