Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
