I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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