would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
