So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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