clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
