he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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