Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
