So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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