Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize