someone threw a dead crab at me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
