I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
