If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
