You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
