Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize