You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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