So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
