Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
