why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize