That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
