billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
