halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
