Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
