Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
