ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
3pm strippers are depressing
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
