O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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