what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
