Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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