either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
