A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
