He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
