i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
