And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
