think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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