Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
