Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize