I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
