Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
