matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
