Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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