her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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