it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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