He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
