just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
