Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
