O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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